Our birth stories: The choices we made

I’ve written out the birth stories for both Wyatt and Ava but have never shared them with anyone, except the birth class we participated in with Wyatt. I started to think about writing Liam’s birth story and then I got caught up in comparing the sequence of events among all three. Similarities and differences. The way knowledge and experience helped or even hindered the process. The circumstances surrounding the births, from Christmastime to Pandemic times. 

I’ve also never really shared the pictures taken throughout the labors. My good friend, Rachel was my doula for all three of the births and she doubled (tripled?) as a photographer too. There are some pictures no one needs to see due to the graphic nature of them but many show such special moments. I decided it’d be fun to blog the three births a little at a time to show the unique ways each delivery progressed. Mostly, I felt a need to reflect as we plan for Liam to be our last baby. I want the kids to know their stories and it’s easy to forget a lot of details. I also think, no matter how a baby is born, they are such gifts and we need to celebrate them entering the world. 

Rachel brought a calm to the birthing experience I came to count on.  Somehow I think I looked the least rested after Wyatt's birth even though I didn't already have kids at home. 

Our birth “plan”

For all three kids I had a similar basic plan for how I hoped delivery would go. I knew I wanted to give birth at a stand alone birth center. I love that when there, my care team is pre-arranged. There aren’t nurses popping in that I haven’t met or any shift changes. The midwife will be at the birth unless there is some kind of family emergency. I don’t have to be hooked up to any monitors, I can walk about the room freely. I get to eat and drink if I feel like it. There are no pain medications, except for what may be needed to help numb before stitches. After the birth, mom and baby are monitored for a couple hours and if all is well we get to go home and get settled in right away. My mom and my sister both had children at similar places so I've felt familiar with the idea for a long time. All of these things influenced my decision to go to the birth center. When we sign up to deliver there we know that if there are any emergencies, red flags or certain complications, we will be transferred to the local hospital and a doctor will take over. This has happened to more than a few friends of mine so we tried to approach our "plan" with open hands. 

Ava was baby number 1283 born at the Bellingham Birth Center.

I love the giant beds at the
 Birth Center
 so there is room for
 baby care right there. (Ava)

(Liam)

My care team

My primary midwife for Wyatt was Alli Watkins with Haven Midwifery. For Ava, Alli was having a baby just before my due date so she couldn’t be my primary midwife, but Beth Arcise with Salish Sea Midwifery was excellent as well. Alli just so happened to have her little girl early enough that she was available to be the midwife assistant for Ava and was able to do that for Liam too. (Fun fact, each of our three kids were born within a couple months of each other and we have the same combination of boy, girl, boy!)  

Alli was almost 8 months pregnant with her first boy when Wyatt was born.  I kept thinking of how amazing our bodies are when she was still doing such an all-hours kind of job. 

My midwives both do two at-home visits after the babies are born. It is the best thing ever to be in my own living room to have the baby weighed and monitored and my body (and emotional state) checked where we are most relaxed. Rachel is a lactation consultant also, so having her expertise with various challenges that arose was super helpful. 

With Rachel as my doula for all three deliveries, Nate as my husband, and Beth and Alli as my midwives, there was a lot of continuity of care throughout the entire experience. These midwifes take the the time to talk about physical well being as well as emotional and mental well being during pregnancy and post-partum. I felt known and heard and never rushed. 

Liam was born towards the beginning of the 
pandemic. I was so grateful for the thoughtful
 decisions Beth made as the whole world was
 trying to decide how best to move forward
with so many unknowns. Alli was experiencing 
pregnancy in a pandemic while continuing her
job as a midwife. They are rockstars!

Rachel took such good care of me as a
 doula and a friend. She checked on me
frequently after all three births and I will get
 into the details of how she supported before and
 during labor. What a special thing to have had
 her at the birth of all three of our kiddos.

Nate is no medical expert but he is an expert on me.

His constant presence was profoundly valuable.  

Next up, the time leading up to labor.