Our birth stories: Early laboring

Wyatt

During the 12 O’clock hour my contractions were anywhere from 5 to 10 min apart…and Nate wasn’t home. On his way home from work he planned to grab a few snacks we could bring with us when "labor fully kicked in" and also I'd been craving bagels that morning.  Well, labor was kicking in NOW! I called Nate around 1:15 and he was trying to head home but the grocery store was jam-packed.  I told him, “just hurry, because they’re faster!” In the 1 O’clock hour they were anywhere from 3 to 10 min apart. It didn’t look like I’d have a full hour of 5 min contractions because they just kept getting faster. Though in the beginning they had guessed I was just having practice contractions, through texts, my care team began to realize I might be in the official beginning stages of labor. I called Nate again, around 1:45.  He was at a second store and I said, “you need to come home NOW, I don’t care about those things!!” I had been on the couch for about and hour and a half to see if they slowed down but I was just finding it harder and harder to concentrate on anything.  I couldn’t even text my friends to tell them I might be in labor because I couldn’t focus on the letters that formed the words.  I tried to finish gathering our things but I couldn’t begin to think of what was needed…so I just lay back down.

  When I called my Rachel (our doula and good friend) and she had to walk me through a contraction or two she realized this was really progressing and she headed my way immediately.  Nate got home at 2:15 and I told him to eat some lunch because I didn’t know when he’d be eating again.  He offered me a bagel but eating didn’t sound good at all. The Zags basketball team was having one of their biggest games of the year (Go ZAGs!) so Nate turned it on while he ate, but I immediately shouted “You can’t can’t have that on! Turn it off!” I needed silence. I spoke to my midwife, Alli, and she walked me through a couple contractions too, reminding me I didn’t need to have polite phone etiquette during them!  She was just heading into town from an appointment in Birch Bay and needed an hour to get the Birth Center room ready so we were told we should arrive at 3:30.  This made me so nervous, I wanted to come in right then because I was having contractions 2-3 min apart for up to 90 seconds.  Just like Wyatt, labor was flying by, with lots of enthusiasm. 

Rachel arrived and by then I was on my hands and knees because that felt better.  She started squeezing my hips and that provided some relief.  Nate was running around trying to gather last things and load the car.  I had a bag packed and we had one packed for the baby, but things were still in different places around the house and Nate hadn’t packed a bag yet.  He kept asking questions, like “is this a good amount of olive oil for the baby’s bum?” or “should we grab another blanket?” and I just kept saying “I don’t care, I just want to go.” Later on we discovered that the snacks Nate had spent all that precious time getting were forgotten.

There was very little time between contractions and I was breathing through them, on my hands and knees with my doula squeezing my hips. Even though it wasn’t close to 3:30 yet, Rachel said we could head to the birth center.  I had a contraction in the elevator and again at the bottom and again when we got to the car. And suddenly, Nate was running back upstairs.  He couldn’t find his wallet.  I had a couple more contractions, leaning against the car with my doula when Nate came running back, wild eyed, and discovered that his wallet had already been loaded in the car. 

I had a few contractions on our way to the Birth Center, one when we got out and one as soon as we walked in the room. Alli, calmly said she was ready to check me out.  Her eyes got wide when she actually saw…I was at a nine and then some!  I had most likely gone through transition at home on my couch while waiting for everyone else to be ready for me! 

Ava

True to Ava's personality, she was going to join the world in her own time in her own creative way. 

Tuesday night around bedtime the contractions began again. For the third night in a row. This time they were even more intense. They were regular and uncomfortable by 11:45 pm. About 4-8 min apart. Around 2:00am I woke Nate up to to say that I thought that THIS night of contractions was really it. We called Beth, my midwife, at about 2:30. She said that it sounded real and that we should meet at the Birth Center at 3:30. (Remember how we were at the birth center at 3:30 for Wyatt too?? But in the day?? I couldn't stop thinking about that.) We called Rachel and she said she’d be there on time. We called Darcie and Phil (thank goodness for a brother/sister in-law in town) who were on call for Wyatt at night and they said they’d be on their way in minutes. We texted our good friend, Gretchen the plan so she could expect Wyatt in the morning because she was on call for the day time. 

Phil and Darcie arrived by 3:00. Wyatt had woken up while we were getting ready to leave so Nate had told him to go back to sleep but hadn’t mentioned we were leaving so as not to get him even more awake. We went over the basic instructions while I had several contractions and we were on the road by 3:15. Rachel was there when we arrived and took a picture of me (looking quite perky I must say.) 

When Beth got there at 3:30 we put contacts in and prepared for labor. (We learned later that Wyatt woke more and began yelling. Phil, not knowing how to comfort him suggested he come down to bed with them. About halfway down the stairs Wyatt discovered that Phil really wasn’t Daddy and began screaming. This lasted about 10 minutes. He then asked to go back to bed because that was where he was supposed to be and he promptly fell asleep. The rest of his morning went great!) 

Rachel has the hip squeezing technique down!
The counter pressure gives such relief. 

The hip and lower back discomfort needed help.

It was the middle of the night and everything was so quiet on the streets around the birth center. I had forgotten to transfer my “labor mix” to the iPod so I asked for Nora Jones in hopes that it would relax me. I forgot to have it changed at any point along the way so every time I hear her I think of Ava’s birth. 

Beth checked my progress and I was at about 5 cm. 

Liam

Around 5:30 in the morning on April 15th I woke up. This was normal because Liam always had a dance party around this time and I was peeing multiple times a night at this point. He was particularly active. I got up to go pee and when I stood up after that, a stream of water ran down my legs. I moved around. More water. I checked it carefully. I began shaking. The adrenaline started to kick in. My water had never broken on its own in the early stages of labor. But I felt pretty sure this was it. I didn’t have any noticeable contractions though. Just like Liam, he was getting the job done without a big fuss. I woke Nate gently, mentioned what was happening and told him to continue sleeping . There was no way I could relax at that time. I was too wide awake…and STARVING. I am always grateful for my ability to eat when I need food. I made myself a bagel with cheese…I ALWAYS crave bagels when I’m in labor which is weird.

By then it was about 6:30 and I called Gretchen to give her an update.  I knew she would be praying for things and passing information on to our circle of friends. Wyatt and Ava were surprised that I was already up when they came out of their bedroom at 7:00 since I had been sleeping until at least 8 these days. When Nate came up he gave me some time to contact the other important people to fill them in: My parents who would be heading up when they were ready, to watch the big kids, my friend Anna who would cover before they got here, Rachel, and of course, Beth, our midwife.

Since I wasn’t having any contractions of note my midwife told me I had 24 hours from my water breaking to get into full blown labor. First, I tried to sleep a little more. Then, we decided we might as well go on a family walk. It was a gorgeous, blue sky, warm day. We decided to stroll down by the marina. We got a solid 2.5 miles in. I was cracking up since my water was still slowly leaking so I felt as though I’d peed my shorts. No big deal, lady in labor walking by!

We did a little photo shoot of our family of 4 knowing Liam would be coming soon, one way or another. After taking a shower and eating some lunch, Rachel came over to see how things were going. I started taking black and blue cohash which can sometimes help labor along and contractions eventually started to show up. I had contractions every 12 or so minutes through noon, 1:00, 2:00. Rachel drove me to my already scheduled appointment so we could see if any progress was happening. Nate stayed home with the kids.

My parents were on their way up but we asked if Anna and her kids could come over just in case Nate had to take off before my parents got there.  Thankfully I was already at 4 cm so I was considered to be be in labor. Still, we decided I might as well go home and do some more walking in order to have a change of scenery and see if I could get things moving faster.  As soon as we got home around 4:00 and Rachel and I started walking the hills of our neighborhood, it was like a switch flipped. My contractions were coming every 2.5-5 minutes, they were long, and I had to stop to breath through them as we went.

On this gorgeous spring day more than one person working in their lawn commented on the fact that I looked “ready any day now” but they didn’t know how right they were. The steady contractions continued at home so we called Beth at 4:30 and said we were ready to come back already. Of course she needed to get things set up and was back in her office so we were told to get there at 5:00. My parents had arrived and our friends had left so we just made sure we had everything we needed, loaded up, said goodbye to the big kids and were on our way. Hanging out on the ramp up to the birth center and having a few contractions in the glaring sunlight was a bit disconcerting. I felt so in tune with my body but somewhere in my brain knew that these were not typical beautiful day activities for me. 

Our birth stories: leading up to labor

I'm blogging about the births of our three children, so it can be saved forever more on the internet! I wrote about some of our birthing decisions/dreams here.

Leading up to labor...

Wyatt

I finished working the Wednesday before Thanksgiving at 37.5 weeks. I was teaching 1st grade and had conferences, report cards and goodbyes taken care of. After that, I had a week of finishing up loose ends and relaxing in preparation for our first kiddo. I sent this email to my mom who was worried I’d be twiddling my thumbs waiting for our baby: 

"This week I have…had a dentist appointment, picked up my free breast pump, picked up my contacts, had a prenatal appointment, had a massage, done laundry, cleaned the fridge, made a double recipe of stuffed shells, made TWO gingerbread houses in one day, had coffee with 3 YL girls, walked with Gretchen, chatted with Amie, met friends for lunch, got my hair done, taken 3 naps, and slept in past 9, written a birth plan, started a new book and began to catch up on a TV show. Maybe I filled my week up a little too much but they all seemed like good ideas at the time!”

 

Why not make gingerbread houses with these
fabulous sophomore girls just when you're 
about to pop?!

On December 5th my whole belly/uterus felt so heavy and my lower back ached. I had been having braxton hicks since 20 weeks so they came and went without much note. Other than that, there were no signs of labor. That night we watched the tree lighting at the market square then felt inspired to finish up some errands and buy final things from our baby registry that we hadn’t gotten at showers. We finished the evening with some spicy Thai food (because it sounded so good, and, ok, maybe I was fine with seeing if the old wives' tale would make a difference...)

I think I puffed up the most with
 my first pregnancy. It must have been
 because it was all so new to my body.
 Later on, it knew what to expect.
I also gained the most weight with Wyatt.
My body just hung on to some of that
weight to use for subsequent pregnancies, ha!

My first real contraction was when I went to bed late Friday night around 11:00.  It squeezed in my back, which my Braxton Hicks had never done and I told Nate “I think that’s what a real contraction feels like.”  I figured I’d be having some of these for a few days. I wasn’t due for another 10 days.  Everyone had told me that first babies are more often late than early. I was woken around 1 am, Saturday, the 6th by another contraction and started to record them when I realized they were coming regularly.  I texted my midwife and doula a heads up around 4am when they were anywhere from 9-20 min apart.  I was told to let my midwife know when they’d been 5 min apart for an hour.

They slowed down to 45 min- 1hr apart again, I was able to sleep a bit, and around 10 in the morning Nate went to work (he used to GO to work!) for “a couple hours” to catch up on a couple things in case our kiddo came early the next week.  I canceled afternoon movie and coffee plans with two of my friends "just in case I was too uncomfortable to enjoy it." I called my parents to let them know I was having contractions but probably wasn't in labor, because I also had heard I would just KNOW if I was in labor. Still, I had this inkling feeling.   

A tree that's round like us! 

A little round belly that shook when
she laughed like a bowl full of jelly.

Ladies night gingerbread houses at LSCH!

Ava

On September 24th, Sunday night, I was one week past the official due date. With Wyatt coming 10 days early, I had been pregnant for two weeks longer than before. The summer pregnancy was nice because the clothes and the flip flops were easy to put on, but we had some hot weather that year. I wasn't exactly comfortable. 

That night I had contractions regular and strong enough that I called Rachel (our friend and doula) in the middle of the night and our midwife first thing in the morning. The contractions stopped eventually and we did our regularly planned activities, including a Monday morning group playdate. I was doing all the things that are recommended to get labor kickstarted. Looooots of walking, pineapple core until my mouth itched, membranes stripped, ball bouncing, etc. 

Monday night the contractions began again. This time more intense. They faded a bit earlier and life went on as normal on Tuesday. I had barely slept for two nights due to the contractions plus all the extra peeing. I went on a walk at Hovander with Rachel and stopped by Beth’s to have my membranes stripped again. More ball bouncing and stair walking. I even pumped a little to see if the stimulation did anything. It definitely made me uncomfortable but it was hard to tell what was helping. That night though, we took a selfie of the 3 of us because I had a feeling that it was our last day as a family of 3. 

Liam

I had already had a kiddo 10 days early and a kiddo one week late. I decided there is no way of knowing what the timing would be and I better just relax and enjoy myself. Except relaxing with two small kids is kind of tough. We had been in the middle of the COVID-19 pandemic quarantine for a month. Playgrounds were closed, swimming lessons canceled, and so were soccer clinics, playdates, and Pre-K. We DID have lots of backyard play time, a daily neighborhood walk and an at-home school routine to keep us all sane. 

On Tuesday, April 14th Nate just so happened to finally do a trip to Costco to gather the last bit of freezer and snack food we wanted for when baby came. He also finally got TOILET PAPER which we hadn't been certain would happen on time.  Liam was not due for another 11 days but he had made it past my birthday so I told my friend, “no signs of him coming but he’s welcome any time!” We also had to change our sheets so I put a leak proof pad underneath for “when the time came.” 

Keeping my body moving during my 
pregnancies kept me sane. I jogged until 
35 weeks with Wyatt, which I felt pretty proud 
about but for Ava and Liam, walks were
the best thing for me by 12-15 weeks along.

Our birth stories: The choices we made

I’ve written out the birth stories for both Wyatt and Ava but have never shared them with anyone, except the birth class we participated in with Wyatt. I started to think about writing Liam’s birth story and then I got caught up in comparing the sequence of events among all three. Similarities and differences. The way knowledge and experience helped or even hindered the process. The circumstances surrounding the births, from Christmastime to Pandemic times. 

I’ve also never really shared the pictures taken throughout the labors. My good friend, Rachel was my doula for all three of the births and she doubled (tripled?) as a photographer too. There are some pictures no one needs to see due to the graphic nature of them but many show such special moments. I decided it’d be fun to blog the three births a little at a time to show the unique ways each delivery progressed. Mostly, I felt a need to reflect as we plan for Liam to be our last baby. I want the kids to know their stories and it’s easy to forget a lot of details. I also think, no matter how a baby is born, they are such gifts and we need to celebrate them entering the world. 

Rachel brought a calm to the birthing experience I came to count on.  Somehow I think I looked the least rested after Wyatt's birth even though I didn't already have kids at home. 

Our birth “plan”

For all three kids I had a similar basic plan for how I hoped delivery would go. I knew I wanted to give birth at a stand alone birth center. I love that when there, my care team is pre-arranged. There aren’t nurses popping in that I haven’t met or any shift changes. The midwife will be at the birth unless there is some kind of family emergency. I don’t have to be hooked up to any monitors, I can walk about the room freely. I get to eat and drink if I feel like it. There are no pain medications, except for what may be needed to help numb before stitches. After the birth, mom and baby are monitored for a couple hours and if all is well we get to go home and get settled in right away. My mom and my sister both had children at similar places so I've felt familiar with the idea for a long time. All of these things influenced my decision to go to the birth center. When we sign up to deliver there we know that if there are any emergencies, red flags or certain complications, we will be transferred to the local hospital and a doctor will take over. This has happened to more than a few friends of mine so we tried to approach our "plan" with open hands. 

Ava was baby number 1283 born at the Bellingham Birth Center.

I love the giant beds at the
 Birth Center
 so there is room for
 baby care right there. (Ava)

(Liam)

My care team

My primary midwife for Wyatt was Alli Watkins with Haven Midwifery. For Ava, Alli was having a baby just before my due date so she couldn’t be my primary midwife, but Beth Arcise with Salish Sea Midwifery was excellent as well. Alli just so happened to have her little girl early enough that she was available to be the midwife assistant for Ava and was able to do that for Liam too. (Fun fact, each of our three kids were born within a couple months of each other and we have the same combination of boy, girl, boy!)  

Alli was almost 8 months pregnant with her first boy when Wyatt was born.  I kept thinking of how amazing our bodies are when she was still doing such an all-hours kind of job. 

My midwives both do two at-home visits after the babies are born. It is the best thing ever to be in my own living room to have the baby weighed and monitored and my body (and emotional state) checked where we are most relaxed. Rachel is a lactation consultant also, so having her expertise with various challenges that arose was super helpful. 

With Rachel as my doula for all three deliveries, Nate as my husband, and Beth and Alli as my midwives, there was a lot of continuity of care throughout the entire experience. These midwifes take the the time to talk about physical well being as well as emotional and mental well being during pregnancy and post-partum. I felt known and heard and never rushed. 

Liam was born towards the beginning of the 
pandemic. I was so grateful for the thoughtful
 decisions Beth made as the whole world was
 trying to decide how best to move forward
with so many unknowns. Alli was experiencing 
pregnancy in a pandemic while continuing her
job as a midwife. They are rockstars!

Rachel took such good care of me as a
 doula and a friend. She checked on me
frequently after all three births and I will get
 into the details of how she supported before and
 during labor. What a special thing to have had
 her at the birth of all three of our kiddos.

Nate is no medical expert but he is an expert on me.

His constant presence was profoundly valuable.  

Next up, the time leading up to labor. 

I finally finish a blog post about the Big Island 3 years ago!

Three years ago we packed up and lived on the Big Island for two months. I blogged a little in the beginning about why we were going, how the getting there went, some family history, and then the ups and the downs. I had two more blog posts highlighting some of our very favorite things from our time there but up until now they have been left as drafts. I got busy and distracted and just recently came across them again. 

I'm not a writer by any means, I just think of blogging as a public journal of sorts. Thinking about past trips and looking at pictures makes me happy and maybe it will make some other people happy too. I was a scrapbooker, then moved to photo books after having kids. Since most of us have had to put off traveling forever longer than usual, I figured now is a great time to reminisce a bit and give myself a chance to dream of going back.  It might feel a little disjointed but I think I'll feel happy to have this out in the world! 

At this point I'm really impressed with ourselves that we managed to make the entire trip happen with, full of life and always full of emotions 3 year old Wyatt, and smiley but also teething 6 month old Ava. I'm tired just thinking of how we packed for the beach each day and had to clean the sand off afterwards. (Wait, maybe I'm just tired because now we have a sweet 11 month old teething baby Liam too...) At the time, though, we got into a pretty good rhythm and they were rinse-off-the-sand experts by the end. In my experience, traveling has ALWAYS been worth it.  

FYI- If you ever find yourself on the Big Island, I have a document saved with recommendations of adventures, sights and food and am happy to forward it to you, though I'm sure some tips will get outdated as time marches on. 

Swimming with wild dolphins

If I were to choose one specific memory that stands out as an ultimate Hawaii experience, this would be it. We went snorkeling with my brother Paul and sister-in-law Allyson at Two Step which is a place recommended for a beautiful variety of fish. We noticed pretty quickly that there were a bunch of people farther out and then saw it was because there were dolphins. We swam our way over and there were DOZENS of them.  Swirling down below and then swimming up in front of us and occasionally jumping out of the water. We were in awe. I have no pictures but I'm not sure it would have captured the experience quite how I would want it to anyway. 

Snorkeling at Captain Cook

This area can only be reached by hiking or boat. We hiked down the two miles with quite the sweaty hike back up later. Our friend Lesley was 7 months pregnant and the incline of that path was no joke. The colors of the fish were incredible. The variety was amazing. We loved the fish that danced with each other, the flat fish that blended into the rocks, the giant sea turtle slowly gliding by. It was the best snorkeling we've seen.

Kalapana's Wednesday Night Market

Live music, dancing, international food and drink...the scent of less legal things in the air...and all the people with big personalities. All reasons to make the long drive over to the other side of the island. We paired it with a rainy trip to the volcano which, though it was mellow when we were there, just so happened to start exploding a week or two later.

The happy hours 

Most places, are extremely kid friendly, with crayons, paper and an only somewhat overpriced kids menu. Children are even welcome in the bar area as long as you are not sitting AT the bar. Therefore, happy hour is the thing to do. The mai tais are generally $5 cheaper than normal and the views are outstanding. Wyatt would color or play play dough, Ava would snack on puffs and we would relax and stare at the water. Our favorites were the Royal Kona where the bar sits right on the water and the Kona Inn where there is a huge lawn where kids can run around. Everyone is happy!

Sunsets

Kona can have a bit of a haze to it so the sky is not always a brilliant blue. This is mostly "vog" from what the volcano has been spewing. However, when the sunsets are good, they are breathtaking. Walking across the street before putting the kids to bed become a calming ritual and the regulars at the apartments there came to expect to enjoy a chat with Wyatt and help him get better at shaka.